Welcome. We have all been or are going through what you are going through.
It is NORMAL for loved ones to feel guilt, anger, resentment, etc etc. Substance addiction (alcohol or drugs) warps the mind and distorts normal thinking. In essence you are dealing with a less than sane person. Mental clarity may fluctuate between drinking, after adequate sleep, HOWEVER do yourself a favor and don't try to apply logic or reason where it is inapplicable.
Their behavior sucks in family members and can easily make family/loved ones emotionally and or physically ill. The non addicted family members need to learn how to preserve and improve their mental health because one crucifiction was enough, so to speak.
Try to attend support groups for families/friends of addicts. These are usually hosted by rehab counselors and you will learn a lot about dealing with an addicted loved one. You will also regain peace of mind, or regain some that you no doubt lost.
Doing this is BECAUSE you LOVE that person and although it may initially alienate her it is for the greater GOOD in the long run. Alcoholics try to control everything and that includes loved ones. Often, sorry to say, loved ones only become caretakers and drinking financiers.
Our hearts go out to you and your loved one(s) including the alcoholic in your life.