I felt the same why, When I couldnt take another day with AH I called a counsler made an appointment, I told her every little detail there was to tell. At the time it was a great relief to finally tell all. On the drive home, for some reason I was horrified I had told the secret. As time goes by it will make you feel free. Ive had to learn to take care of myself (which Im still working on) Like the above posts. Read and learn as much as you can. Im pretty new to this board in posting but Ive read so many posts and gained such knowledge. These people here know excatly what your feeling.
Some are still in the chaos or been there.