Your right Anvil. If I let it be nothing changes, he gets worse. I do believe at this point he's not sure what to do, or atleast exactly how. He may have good days, but how can a clean perfectionist be content and happy in that filth? They cant, that situation would make me suicidal. He'd only go to jail if he didnt comply. Otherwise when a bed opens he and his brother (likely 6 weeks apart, and likely more receptive and honest one would go first.) would have beds, validation, meetings and Good Food, I mean real good, they both got fat there before. ANd they get to talk to the one counselor ever that they both liked and were relatively honest with. The same woman AH was one day crying saying he needed to talk to her.
I think my moticves are in the right place and with no expectations, because from there he still has to show he can be a responsible member of society