Hi Terri, and welcome back! Congratulations on your 5 days - that is awesome! I am 60 days clean myself and I live with an active addict, so I know how hard this is for you. Even though your husband is not taking your recovery seriously, it sounds like you are and that is truly a miracle. You say that your need to be normal again far outweighs your desire to keep up this habit - keep that front and centre in your mind.
Terri, although you're not going back to rehab, have you considered attending NA meetings? You will get so much support from other recovering addicts by doing so - people who understand what you're going through and who will be so willing to reach out and help you.
Please keep coming back, Terri - we are here for you and we care.