I really understand where you are coming from. I just separated from my AH and now he's in rehab. Every minute feelsl torture at times, wanting to call him, hear his voice, or just know he's here. But since he's in rehab, I can't call him anyway! (Which I'm sure is a good thing for me).
My AH has been absolutely horrible the past 8 months and especially the past two weeks. I still have that filter on where I'm only remembering the good stuff too! I just really miss him and I hate being a single mom. Even though there's a really large possibility we are going to split up for good, it seems my brain is having a hard time accepting that.
He went to rehab for six months once and I remember that these feelings DO get easier. The first few weeks are the hardest, adapting to a new routine. Right now everything I see reminds me of him, including a trip to the grocery store when I had to force myself not to buy his favorite foods. I am hoping that I feel stronger by the time he gets out, so I can make the best decision for ME without basing it on the fear of losing him.
Hugs and love!