Heather
All good advice before me.I think with me, it took a long time be me to develop these feelings I have about my addict. Those feelings will not go away overnight and I shouldn't expect them to. I know it is hard, but give yourself some time. Things will change.
Keep posting and get those feelings out. They are what they are. You are human and will feel the pain. I wish I could take the pain away, but it is part of the process of recovery.
Just know there will be better days ahead.
One day at a time.
Hugs to you
Terri