It just hurts
Gosh - I feel like a whining child.
This seperation, break-up - whatever it is, hurts deeply. I have been trying to keep myself positive, but it's very difficult.
I know I can't make him better.
I know I am powerless.
I know he is an addict- I know what addicts do.
But, it still hurts.
I still miss him- the him that use to take care of me and would do anything for me. I think what hurts so much is that he acted like himself for about two weeks before I REALLY could see that he was relapsing and all the signs came.
I know it hurts so badly because I am codependent.
I would rather be angry than feel this way. Anger I feel at least seems to make me less emotional and more empowered.
Accepting that there is nothing I can do and that I must repair myself is bringing sadness, because I know I don't know how to right now. I know I need to recover myself.
I guess I am just looking for some kind words.