It all comes down to 'actions, not words.' Still the best lesson I ever learned from SR. And, it works both ways. Ignore his words and listen to his actions. You told him no contact, yet he continues to try and get you to make contact.
Now, look at it from your side. If you tell him no contact, but you contact him, what are your actions telling him? That you didn't mean what you said. There is no point in TELLING him the rules. Show him by your actions.
I know how hard it is, but if you pay attention to his actions without letting his words sway you, you will see the truth. And if you take action based on the truth you see, the inner conflict you feel will begin to fade. That's how you change the rules.
L