just need to talk
My Ah is in the hospital for pancreatitis. He called today asking for my health insurance info. I didn't have my card with me so told him he would have to call me back. Havent' heard a word since. Part of me feels so sorry for him. To have your life so screwed up, be in the hospital with no one there for you, etc. But like its said, they need to feel the pain before they'll change. He has no job, no home (he's been in a motel) and nowhere to go. I fear this is it for him. I keep praying for some positive intervention in his life. This disease sucks. I still think of the man he used to be, well, the man he really is, just without the alcohol and I know I still love him. Walking away is the hardest thing I have ever had to do in my life. Does anyone know any good books/readings that might help give me strength?
The saddest part, I think, is that our kids don't even know him and probably never will. What do I tell them when they start asking about daddy? I seem to be overly emotional right now--probably because I'm sick (diagnosed with bronchitis today), depressed over all this, and trying so hard to let it be and let him take care of himself.
On the other hand, I'm angry that he's in the hospital under my insurance (he has none because he quit his job) and any uncovered expenses will be my responsibility. He'll get out and start drinking again and I won't see a dime. For all I know, he's spent all he had anyways. I just hope our separation goes through soon so I don't have to worry anymore. I think that will take a load off my mind.
paige