Hi lotus, I am sorry you're going through such tough times. Have you in the past seen a good therapist? I think these types of situations call for some sort of professional intervention. I am thinking about seeing one myself, want to try to get to the root causes of why I binge drink as you called it very correctly.
I am not sure if there are "root" causes for this or some say this is a medical condition like diabetes or other diseases. I think for everyone it has turned into a medical situation due to our choices, we need to take responsibility and not the fact that this is something that happened to us. Perhaps there a genetic predisposition, I am not completely sure about the scientific research but what I am sure about All who have this supposed genetic predisposition do not drink.
Hang tough and take action to deal with the overwhelming emotions. Sorry I did not have any magical thoughts to share and help you ease the pain.