Well said, Denny. That's when I realized I had a problem with co-dependency, too.
NewBlue: Have you spoken to your family doctor about this? Talked to an addiction counselor? Attended any AA meetings? That may help you guage the severity of your problem.
I'm not an alcoholic, so I guess you could say I'm an expert on sobriety. And based on that I can tell you that I drink fewer than 3-4 drinks a year. I never keep alcohol in my house. Never crave or desire a drink. Alcohol doesn't make me happier or calmer. In fact, it makes me feel lousy. It makes my head ache, it clouds my thinking, it makes it difficult for me to walk and talk--I don't find any of this the least bit amusing or pleasant. I even hate the way it tastes. Alcohol doesn't make anything more fun. It tends to ruin the fun. The only time I ever thought of alcohol was when my ex-alcoholic boyfriend was wreaking havoc in my life. I wanted to totally irradicate alcohol from my life, and thank God I have.
So if my definition of sobriety and my relationship with alcohol is the opposite of your description of your relationship with alcohol, does that mean you're an alcoholic? I'd say probably so.
The good news is that now that you recognize that you most likely have a problem, you can get to work on solving it. You may find it beneficial to also post on the alcoholic forum, as those folks have first-hand experience with dealing with alcoholism. And while we do have some regular posters on this forum who are recovering alcoholics, the majority of the participants here are partners, family, or friends of alcoholics.
Of course, if you feel more comfortable posting here, we'd love to welcome you into our group.