I do understand what you are saying. When they are in active addiction they spend so much time trying to make it about us. And then we put so much guilt on ourselves. I don't know how much time I spent examining my mistakes instead of my successes. There were far more good times than bad times, but because the last 2+ years have been about her addiction, it is hard to remember the good times. I understand your sensitivity. My daughter can still pull my chains. I think we who love addicts go through so many emotions during their active period. Then they find recovery and the rules are suddenly different. Even in recovery it is still all about them. Take some time and sort out your feelings. If your son is truly committed to his recovery, one of these days he will make amends to you. It is still early, he has a lot of changing to still do. Hugs, Marle P.S. The hardest thing for me to stomach about my daughter's addiction is her loss of integrity.