Veggiemom,
I agree with the wise posts here. Focus on yourself, I know the feeling of wanting to be vindicated, but what his family thinks or doesn't think is up to them. They want to be blind, it's the comfort zone they want to be in.
Work on making yourself healthy, it's the greatest gift to give to yourself. Here's a tip that my counsellor gave me when I was trying to work out the anger I had towards my in laws. Write a letter, put everything in it that you want to say, write exactly how you feel, don't hold back. Then take it outside and burn it and let the flames have all the hurt and anger. It might sound a bit silly, but it worked for me, maybe not the first time, but no one said you could only do it once.
HUGS
Sheila