When I was a drunk...I could go into "the dead zone" when in shock and pain. It's like your brain shuts down and you go numb when you should be emotional. I often had delayed reactions. But truth be told..I was often just "dead" feeling...I have laughed and termed myself as "dead woman walking" when I was a drunk. My exAbf drank and drugged yet still got hugely emotional...I'd be dead....until it was my turn..then he'd be. It was never in synch. I can still go numb in painful moments...even sober....I haven't been emotionally coherent all that long at almost 5 months.
I know his response is not what you wanted. But in all honestly, you really have no idea how he feels..what pain he is undergoing...it's egotistical (and needlessly painful) to believe you do. We all process in our time and in our own way. You really have no idea what's going on with him...and if he's still drinking..beleive he has no clue either.