veggiemom,
Calling that hornet's nest or not has nothing to do with how you feel about him. Are you trying to prove to them you care, or yourself?
Don't waste valuable time trying to get them to understand. It just isn't all that important. I have family members that eat up the drama in my life and I just don't bother with them.
If you want to see how he is.... call. If you are content not knowing....then don't call. Leave the Queen Bee out of the mix.
Hugs,
JT