Don't get discouraged. You're on the right track. You only need to concern yourself with yourself and your children. The HB can take care of himself. Remember you do not have to prove yourself to anyone but you. What his family thinks shouldn't matter. They aren't you. They dont know what you go through. I understand that keeping harmony in the family is a difficult thing to do at best of times, but there are more important things for you to deal with now, than having to prove yourself to them.
This is my second time in this situation, and although I am not happy I'm here again,...things are much clearer to me this time around. It is easier to pick up where I left off with co-anon 5 years ago. This time I will keep up with the program, regardless of what my AH does.
If you're going to al-anon, work your steps. You will get through this. If not, you should probably start attending meetings.
Cyber hugs to you