tyler

I hope it is ok to start a check-in thread here, I consider the SC forum to be my "home". I welcome all of the "regulars" to chime in and let us know how you are doing. And if you are not a "regular" just keep posting, and you will become one!!

Today is day 4 for me. It's going ok. The depression is getting a little better. Still having sleep issues, but I know both of those problems will get better with time. I am trying to build some accountability into my "program". I am being drug tested weekly, and if my THC levels were to go up (I use), I have agreed to enroll in a IOP program. I don't really know that it is the answer, I have done IOP programs before, with no real success, but I guess you get out what you put into it. Besides, all I have to do is stay clean, and it wont't be an issue.

I really feel like I HAVE to MAKE it happen this time. I don't have many more shots. I don't really know if I can take failing again. Not trying to be overly dramatic here, but that is really how I feel. I have been hospitalized several times for depression, suicidal ideations, and attemped suicide. Each time it was the build up of continued failure to control my addiction. I see doctors and theripists, take meds, but I have to take control of my life.

On the positive side, this time feels different. I'm not really sure why. Maybe I've just finally reached the point where I can't tollerate doing this to myself anymore. I hope so.

So that's how I'm doing today, how about you??