kj, some families are like that, my mil has caused a whole lot of trouble between my ah over the yrs, i've been kicked out of the house, not given money for kids or bill all because she will tell him that i've done something or said something to her, when the truth was, that i wouldn't allow her to make me do what she wanted me to do. we've spent a lot of yrs seperated cause his mom's word is law to him. it was a no win situation, its hard for me to feel as if have to compete against his family. not gonna work, i try my best to not be that way. i have a dil and 2 sils, and i want to be the mil that treats all my children the same, whats right is just right and it does not matter who does it. i guess you may have to began to pratice detachment on them too a little.