Well....in my case he was already a full blown alcoholic when I married him its just that he hid the prior dui's from me even tho he drank a few beers in the evening I just didnt think that was out of line for a construction worker....so I didnt think a thing of it. NOW - looking back over all the years??? I just have to wonder how much or how many of our disagreements were with him having a wet brain and me not even knowing it. Alot of the time he just didnt appear to be drunk...but now after learning all that I have I have to admit that yes...he was intoxicated and I was taking over every aspect of our lives.....including the car maintenance and house repairs too. Even at the end the lawn care. He never did ever show an interest in anything that the kids had going on in their lives at all so this never was an issue that he complained about. Its just so sad that my marriage went this way. I so wish that I knew then what I know now. Because maybe if I had my life would have been different and my kids wouldnt be so badly scarred today. Not to mention myself.