Some things that casuse marital problems are not related to drinking, but are simply just how someone is.
The way I separated issues where by asking myself..would this be any different if he was not drinking.
If the answer was yes..it was a problem related to alcoholism
If my answer was no, it was a problem unrelated to alcoholism
I found, ironically, most of my answers were no. I simply didnt like who he was after I found recovery.
For example, my ex is a jokester. Always making jokes..everything is funny to him and he doesnt like being serious. Nothing is important, nothing is a big deal, everything is a joke and everything in life should be fun. If itws not fun, dont do it! Think Robin Williams in Mrs. Doubtfire.
That drove me nuts. Im not like that and I wouldnt be able to handle that whether or not he was drinking. Thats an issue unrelated to alcoholism, but related to who he is and who I am.
