I understand. We were not able (in the last few years) to discuss or workout any conflicts; AH began drinking the moment he walked in the door until he "fell asleep" every night. We went to counseling a few times before he filed for divorce (btw he is still drinking,etc) but his complaints were things basically involving the drinking issues (ie I spent too much time with our kids,did not want to go out and "party",etc....never an issue until his drinking picked up and started to disrupt our entire family largely because he no longer was participating). I know that many counselors won't even see a couple until the drinking stops and the A has been in recovery for a period of months.
Hopefully, you will both get your own recoveries under your belt and then be able to address a new start. Good luck!