Wendy, I don't know your whole story, but you have been there for me many times. When I saw your post, and read about your problem, I thought my hubby's situation might be of interest...not sure.
He was an alcoholic until 1989, when he got pancreatitis, back problems and was laid up for 6 months or so. We both quit drinking at the time, but shortly afterwards, his pancreas shut down and his sugar levels went uncontrolled for another six months. It did terrible damage to the nerve endings in his legs, feet and back and he was diagnosed with severe neuropathy. The doctor told him at that time that he would have to take pain medication for the rest of his life. He was only 37 yrs. old at the time. But he had no choice. He has taken 6 Darvocets a day every day since then. He has never abused them, but cannot function at all without them. He has been able to live a relatively normal life since...he's 55 now. But without the pain meds, he would have become an invalid.
IMHO, there is a huge difference between pain meds used for a "high" or pain meds used to lead a normal life. I don't know for sure, only what has worked for my husband. He only felt a drug high for the first few months...now they don't affect him at all in that way.
It sounds like your husband may be even younger than mine was at the time, but I thought you should know that it IS possible to lead a normal life and take pain meds at the same time.
****{HUGE HUGS}}} Barb