Sweetie.... unfortunally this is all part of the growth you have made I think.
Growing Pains is what I call it, you are growing.... the dance is changing.... and he is getting scared.... you are not responding the same and he will do whatever is needed to get you back to the place you were. Im guessing but somehow I think Im pretty close.
You do have to walk throught the pain, but you dont have to do it at his command.... you can remove yourself in situations like that baby.... I use to have a bag packed with everything I would need for a day or two... just in case it went horrible and I started to shut down.... Maybe just a game plan if it happens again, you can just walk away.