well it's been a few days but here is an update.
Yes I have tried and talk about my fears to her, but everything I try and say seems to have no affect on her. It seems she would rather not talk about it then actually fix the problem.
I like a ****** started in about the subject tonight in hopes she would maybe hear me for once. and it turned into "I need help and you don't let me do nothing with my friends" Sometimes I feel like I'm talking to someone still in High School. I'm not saying she has a problem, and she doesn't, but if she's not careful she will! Why she needs to get drunk if she does go out and go behind my back to do it makes me mad. I have told her why and she still doesn't get it, I don't want to get a phone call at 3am about something bad happening and that kinda stuff isn't safe to do where we live.
Me and smoking is something she can hold over my head.
She told me if I didn't stop smoking that she was going to leave me, cuz she doesn't like the smell, but in the same dumb statement she said that I can smoke when she drinks only? I stopped smoking 7 months ago and never looked back because she is more imported then a stupid cancer stick.
It wont happen to me, I'll never be addicted to anything "BS"
This always gets my blood going when she says this stuff. Coming out of the mouth of the same person who watches about every reality TV show on, and if she "has" to miss it she tapes it. to me thats an addiction in itself. Also like I have said, when your hole family are alcoholics (Mother-father-Brother-Grandmother-5 uncles- 3 aunts and about 5 cousins that I'm sure of) (----- I kid you not, the apple isn't going to fall to far from the tree.
I really would love help, even if it's just for me cuz I know I have a problem. I would love not to worry 24/7 and keep an open mind to drinking, but I can't at this point. I want kid's and a life without the fear of this "pointless substance" recking everything I have and taking away the only chance at life I got.
Here are a few Q&A's I have to look forward to every time we talk.
~Maybe "we" should see help - You can go but I don't have a problem.
~If I get help will you come - No I don't have a problem
~Why do you have to get drunk when you drink - Cuz It let's me be myself.
~Why can't you not drink when you go out - Cuz it would be pointless to go out.
I tired and lost I spend most of my nights looking into nothing. What I thought was going to be only a nightmare is becoming my reality, do I allow alcohol to enter my life again? I know What my fate will be, but maybe she will be different and maybe it wont affect her. Do I put my life in the hands of a "maybe" or do I end it before it becomes a monster in the closet that we never open?
I have to look a little harder into stuff I can attend in my area that might help, and sorry for my run-on-crappy spelling lol