If we had it all figured out and if we never struggled, we wouldn't find ourselves here in the first place. I don't think sobriety is necessarily a requirement to post here but I do believe that the desire to be sober is (or at least, should be). I think those of us who haven't beaten this disease yet come here because we are lonely and looking for words of encouragement and advice from people who have been where we are at and lived to tell about it. Most times I prefer to read rather than post because I don't want people saying what some people are saying about Homer. But Homer it sounds to me like you are starting to hurt enough to try to make some changes. I understand exactly where you are right now.