For many, many years I believed that alcoholism was not a disease. I thought that concept was a cop out for alcoholic and their loved ones making excuses for them. I always thought it was a matter of willpower since my AH was sober for over 14 years. Never in my life did I realize it was a daily struggle for him. I remember once he told me "I wish I could drink like a normal person", so even though he was sober, he was still thinking about drinking at times. My response to him at that time was "well you can't". End of conversation. Maybe I should have been open to what he was saying, since maybe it was his first cry for help that signaled his relapse. My AH, when sober, seemed to have had it all together. Didn't seem to miss drinking at all. Then he hurt his shoulder and was out of work for three months after shoulder surgery, and it's been downhill since. He's not one for taking any kind of pills, and when he hurt his shoulder, he was prescribed percocet and vicodin. Maybe that sparked the relapse, I don't know. But now he has been diagnosed with alcoholic liver disease, and health problems related to that, and yet he continues to drink. He's a binge drinker and he stopped on Thursday and has been going thru h*ll all weekend with major withdrawals (shaking, vomiting, dizziness, insomnia, etc.) and he even said "I can't keep doing this, it's got to stop" but you know what, he'll be back to drinking again, and yes, he will go thru this again because this isn't his first time. Maybe I'm wrong, but it's just my opinion but I don't think it's a matter of willpower or control. You tell me, who would drink with alcoholic liver disease and know you may be dead within 5 years (yet live in denial about it), deal with bloody noses on a daily basis, go thru withdrawals badly at least once every two months and then go back to drinking if they didn't have a disease.