Hindsight is 20/20, Elana. My red flag was much the same with my son...he didn't tell lies before addiction, so of course I believed him at first. The red flag should have gone up when he told more lies...or worse...told the same lie all over again forgetting that he had already used up that one. And another huge red flag should have gone up when every one of those lies cost me money...and I continued to dole it out for many many years and thousands of dollars.
Red flags and elephants in my livingroom...how easy it was to pretend that they were just pretty decorations and just step around them, hoping nobody else noticed.
Hugs