The First Red Flag..
Having 20/20 hindsight I want to share this story. If it prevents one person from enabling an addict, then it is worth the share.
The first red flag for me should have been when XABF went out west in 2001 claiming to be on a professional photo shoot.. and we were just friends. About 3 days into the trip he calls me and asks me for money. A lot of money. $500.
Claims he needs it cuz he tried to rent a car with a debit card and they encumbered the entire amount he had in the bank (so he says). That part may have been true, but I am thinking now the likely scenario was that he went out there with a GF and she dumped him and walked (with the $$ cuz gosh knows he never had any). He had no credit either.
He had a plane ticket home but 9-11 happened in the midst of his trip.. so THAT didn't work anymore. Dopey, codie me wired him the $$. Of course it was nto enough and he found an ez mark so asked for more and I wired that as well!!!! He said when he got the refund from the airline, he woud repay me. When he got back he had excuses as long as my arm as to why he could not get a refund.
I wondered at the time why he did not call his family for $$. Why not? If I was in a jam, I would have called mine!
The reason they would not give him $$ is he is an addict. They had gone thru this in the past and THEY would have let him walk home. To NY. From AZ.
Should have let him walk Home and ended it right there. Instead we ended up in a relationship and I enabled him for 6 years.
My lesson is your lesson.