I think I heard a variation of those same words about 30 times. My Ahusband was very self absorbed and did not like the idea of me living my own life .. he had to be the center of attention one way or the other. His shooting back an ultimatum was his way of getting me to react and getting pulled back into his drama. They seem to miss the fact that if they would stop drinking and get their lives in order ... we wouldn't have to detach .. we only do it so that we can survive while surrounded by insanity.