I was newly separated from my husband - suddenly the house was empty at night when my girls' were with him for a visit. I drank a lot - alone - those nights. I remember climbing the stairs and looking at their empty bed and empty crib and the pain just about killed me. But then, once I did have them at home with me, I couldn't wait for them to go to bed so that I could break out the bottle. Figured I was doing good enough, so long as I was sober while they were awake. The next day always found me hungover/depressed in bed - my girls didn't have much of a mother during those dark times.
Thank God I found the rooms of AA, and people like all of you.
Shipo, you there? How are you doing today? You don't have to do this alone.
Rowan