anyone who thinks they have ''arrived'' hasn't---this is so true--nothing about this addiction process is perfect--if it was we wouldn't need SR and to keep posting.
You do the best you can with what you have-sometimes you are strong and other times spiraling out of control--I know I do.
You came here for support--and that is not a black/white answer-only you know what your situation is..
I think that you came here to posts when you were so upset is a positive thing-very honest and brave of you.
Stay strong-with ever step you will get stronger...