Originally Posted by
anvilhead 
KOFFEE KLATCH!
....loves, you know that kinda creeped out feeling, that terror of waking up tomorrow and finding out that today was only a dream, and you BACK there again? it's taken me the past 4 years to really see just how f*cked up in the head i was then, how absolutely miserable i was.....i wasn't even in touch with ME at all...had you known me then, you would have only known the part of me that i projected....i had myself all cut up into little pieces, i played different ROLES....i was never just ME.....i spent so much time gritting my teeth i thougth for sure my jaw would just lock shut.
but i needed to go through that to get to today.....i had to get lost in order to be found. or something like that....
I know that feeling very well.......all too well and still very fresh. Funny.....my exabf seems to remember us fondly too. I wish I could. There are bits and pieces, but nothing solid.......not enough to make me want to re-live it.......and the thought that if I ever would keeps me straight. If noah and I stay together till one of us leaves this earth, or break up tommorrow.......I can't re-live what I went through in the past. That life was broken......I was broken.....heck.....I'm not completely put back together yet.........but I'm working on it day by day.