You see, lesson learned with my AH is that 1) I/we can welcome him at the party sober - he would not listen, would get drunk anyway and say he "hasn't done anything wrong" and insist he is not drunk even though he'll be slurring and stumbling over, then a whole argument will ensue and 2) my kids, even though grown, don't like to say anything to him about his drinking cause he'll go on a roll forever and it doesn't get anywhere except upsets them, then when they leave, he'll go on and on to me (and he wouldn't listen to them anyway, he'd proceed the same was as above, insisting he's not drunk, etc.). We all know alcoholics like to run the show and have their way, so he will proceed to the party, drunk as a skunk, and not give a crap who says he's not welcome. Then my daughter in law will be embarassed in front of her family, not to mention my grandson will be upset. Just like one day when I actually leave him, I will have all my ducks in a row, and just leave without even saying goodbye or giving him the option to get sober. It wouldn't work anyway.