Thanks for all the suggestions.
I think I will sit down and actually write an extremely detailed step-by-step procedure for me to engage in the next time I am spinning off into the codep crazies and grasping at that which I cannot control no matter how much power I put into it.
I do think I am very apt to be blown about by all the chaos that I forget I have a choice in the matter- that I can do what is best for me. I listen to my needs one minute- than discount them for a week- in that week I regress tremendously and am then surprised when I am back in the same place of panic I thought I had moved away from.