I think you've gotten very good thoughts thus far on this thread.
But, I'd like to add a perspective.
There is no way my son could possible repay what he's stolen from me. Oh, in many, many years, he *might* be able to repay the monetary aspect of it. But, it would take a very long time, considering he can only get a minimum wage job with his arrest and conviction record, and no college degree or even any technical training.
So, to *expect* that restitution from him would be futile.
I would be setting myself up for a resentment.
And I would also be setting him up for unlimited frustration.
Ya know, one of the reasons for WWII, is that the reparations that Germany was supposed to pay the world for WWI were unreasonably high. Germany could NEVER get out of debt; they would still be paying today! So, the people were angered, resentful and bitter. They willingly went after a scapegoat, and Hitler willingly gave them one.
My point in that little history lesson, (
) is that the addict, unable to fulfill his/her obligation too, will become bitter, angered and resentful. That's a sure set up for a relapse, if you ask me.
Now, I do not know the extent of what he owes you. So, this moral may not be pertinant. But, for my son, it is somehting I have to keep in mind. I don't want repayment at that cost. What I really want is for my son to be clean, sober, and happy.
Just my rambling thoughts...
Shalom!