Heather take a breath and try and calm down. The fact is he is going to show up whether in an hour or a day. You can not change his actions...you can not make him be a the person you want to be in love with, instead your left with "what addicts do". The behavior, that you are doing that you describe we have all done at one time or another and for what its worth, it does not have to be that way, there is life out there. Try not to call the phone and maybe go out and get some air. Remember he will come back the question for me was always the same, "Do I really want her back?" Things will get better so hang in there.