Rose, do not beat yourself up about calling your ah. You may have asked for advice but that does not mean you need to take it... decision soley on you. I believe after being with your ah for so many years it may seem just natural to go to him with everything thats going on with the boys. In my own opinion maybe you needed to call him to jst confirm within yourself of where he is at mentally and to also know you can not depend on him. You know Rose we live and learn... nothing more nothing else. Do not be hard on yourself just take it as a learning experience.
Hugs and prayers that your boys gets easier to handle and that you have the strength to go forward.
Hugs,
jewel