Rose,
Your post and situation really spoke to me today. You had a dilemma, you went out and gathered the thoughts, opinions and advice from others, and ultimately you took an action which didn't work out for you quite the way you had expected.
This reminds me of how my A struggled. He focused so much on the result that he wanted.... and he tried to get there every which way he could. He'd step back for awhile, and then go at it again from a different angle with renewed fervor. It never did work out for him the way he wanted or planned... his life didn't change until he let go of his expectations /results.
Some of us learn to surrender quickly, others of us have to try ONE more way to see if maybe- just maybe THIS time- we find the secret answer. A's and Codie's alike. We aren't all that different in our struggles.
Hugs
Cat