Sunlight,
This is really beautiful. Literally, I had tears in my eyes. You nailed it.
When you have gone through recovery, and you've "become your own hero" as sunlight says, and you've become stronger and wiser than you were when the abuse happened...then the concept of "admitting defeat" just doesn't even enter the equation any more. I mean...it's not about winning. It's about building a life that you love, REGARDLESS of someone's mistreatment of you five or ten or twenty years ago. You can't change them. You can only admit that what happened happened, and try your best to drop your resentments in the nearest trash can and get on with life.
Easier to do when you don't have to face the people who are still living in denial, that's for sure. I couldn't forgive my family until I had some time far away from them.
Hugs,
GiveLove