Originally Posted by
katie6 
I don't know how I can forgive them though when there has been no apology or admittance of any wrongdoing. And why should I? To me, that seems almost like admitting defeat.
So I would really like someone to tell me why I am supposed to forgive them and how to even start. Anyone?
In my case, forgiveness was not for them it was for me.
I had to let go of wanting them to change.
I had to stop waiting for them to apologize.
I had to stop wanting them to love me.
I got to grieve the loss of my childhood.
I got to commit to myself to learn how to love myself.
I did not have to approve, condone or pardon their behavior.
I don't even have to use the word "forgive."
I had to admit that I had been affected by their behavior,
but that recovery would be my job not theirs.
I had to admit that the way I felt about them was hurting me.
Don't get me wrong, I get to be as hurt or angry as I need to be.
But I had to realize the opportunity to heal was inside me.
I get to take the power back.
I get to be my own hero.
This is a gradual process, how far are you ready to go?