Could the pool boy do any of this stuff for you?? He would have to take his shirt off for most of those chores I do believe.
Now THIS is what I'm talking about.... I wonder if Pierce Brosnan or George Clooney are available....
Cutting the food in the kitchen won't help... I can't keep it still on the cutting board OR on my plate. I just chase it around with the knife until I get frustrated enough to spear it with the knife and bite off pieces!