So when I said I was a "normie," I know that I'm not in a "normal" circumstance as far as alcohol goes in my life...and I knew that going in.
I used to do a lot of social drinking - especially last year - but had calmed down massively with it even before she and I found our way back to each other. I was rarely drinking before we re-connected, and now the same still goes.
That doesn't mean that when I'm out at a buddy's house, or at a business function where there's alcohol, I won't have a drink though - and she knows that and is fine with it. She tries to tell me that she doesn't care if I have a drink when we're out together, but I would NEVER do that.
I'm not "worried" per se about her recovery. Although I know that there's always something out there that could potentially trigger a relapse, I know that she knows the dire consequences of what happens if she does. You see, there's one other aspect of her alcoholism that I've never really mentioned on this site, as I wasn't sure how to approach it - but I'll just say it right now.
She had her daughter taken from her by CPS last year.
She's just about to get her back full time, however, as she's been working very hard on her program. She goes to at least 3 AA meetings a week, another two substance abuse classes/groups, and therapy twice a week - once to work on herself, and another session with her daughter.
Starting this Saturday, her daughter will be (legally) returning home 5 nights a week, and everyone involved is happy about it. She had been prior placed with her grandmother, who would not let my gf near her daughter at first, but now she lets her come stay with us whenever she wants (which is about 95% of the time.
She has to test randomly at her CPS worker's request, and has never had any problems.
Like I said...I'm confident that she'll maintain her sobriety.
I guess the things that I'm concerned about DO revolve around me...because she says she loves me, and she's shown me that affection before, it's just hard for me to understand why it's not there anymore.
I did write something for her that she read on her lunch break today, and it brought a tear to her eye and she gave me a huge hug and a kiss - so that made me feel good. I almost think that sometimes she doesn't truly believe that I love her like I do, and is trying to protect herself from me hurting her by acting the way she does sometimes.
I know it's a rollercoaster...and I'm willing to go along for the ride. I put up with much worse with someone I didn't love for 5 years...I truly believe I'm strong enough to see this through.