whewww....i sure understand how you are feeling.
are you in a recovery program, yourself?
when they get sober, it's just as tough as when they were drinking....at least it was in my marriage. i had a whole new person in front of me who was sober, and i only knew how to interact with a drunk person.
course, his state of mind seemed as if he had just woken from a coma and had to re-learn even the most of life's basic fundamentals.
it was tough. i couldn't expect him to give me the support i needed, cause honestly, he could barely find his own butt with both hands.
after all the years of alcoholic chaos with him, i needed a lot of healing. he was incapable of giving it or helping me find it....he could barely take care of himself, let alone someonelses needs or heart.
i had to take care of myself and give myself what i needed, with the help of a support group. he was doing all he could do just to be sober.
good luck