acvrigg

I have been using marijuana for the last two years, ever since my daughter was born, and since then I have cheated on my husband, once, and lied to him and promised him that I will stop smoking it and every few months there i am again trying to contact people to get some weed. in this case i contacted the person i had cheated on my husband with. he has forgiven me every time i have told him the truth and asked him for help, i think i need to get into a recovery program because i feel like my dad, an alcoholic, every few months he'd binge and wed all forgive him. now i am in his shoes. i love my husband so much and i am afraid that this time he will hate me forever and i am so scared of this
what do i do?