Have you ever dealt with someone in prison before?? There is extreme RAGE in the beginning....thus the sending back of your card to his mom, because he couldn't send it to you. My ex did 5 years. The 1st year he was SO angry at EVERYONE!! The next year, he got lonely & bored & contacted his ex. (Way before me) It took him 3 years to finally begin to look at himself. I'd let him go. Nothing you could do or say will change a thing. You have said what you need to say. He knows you think of him. (But you also have given him no way to contact you...talk about mixed messages) Believe me, the best way you can help him....is to let him go. My ex told me that the best thing that ever happened to him was that everybody deserted him in prison. That was when he took a hard look at himself.
Also, I left my ex October 2005 & moved 2,000 miles away. To get even, he moved in with an old gf. For a time I sent him articles & letters & books, hoping something would help. Last time I spoke with him, his mom died on Christmas & I called to offer condolences. Sadly, he is NOT the man I knew. There was a hardness & a coldness in his voice. I need to remember HE has NOT changed!!!
I understand what you are saying, but I would let it go for now. He is paying the consequences of his actions. And believe me, very few women can handle the life of a "prison wife".
Lynne