you draw boundries on what you will accept and what you will not....
for me it was being able to say ''no'' and being OK with that
telling my AS if you drink you can't live here
while you are drinking if you take the car I will call 911
things of that nature
taking care of YOU
now you don't need to hound the A''you better this or that"
just state your boundry once and stick with it
''if you are not home by 5pm no dinner''even simple things like that
the things that really trouble you and make you feel used is always a good place to start