ahhhhh....remember.....the counselor is speaking as an addict in recovery....they have different agendas than we, as al-anonians, have.
in other words, of course they need a home to come home to and a loving family.....ain't that nice.
well, we needed a loving family, too. and the alcoholism made that impossible. believe me, in my xh case, living with sobriety was just as hellashish.....he had so many resentments and was always spouting off about "being good to himself"......which would have been fine if he hadn't been cussing me like a dog while he was saying it.
i found out the hard way that my ex's way of finding recovery was pounding me down into the ground mentally.
from then on i said....go get sober, stay sober, take care of yourself for 2 years, and then we will see about us.
course, that didnt happen. because he needed another enabler to house him, support him financially and all,
phooey!!!