Tryin,
Welcome to Sober Recovery. When I first came here, I was on the edge on sanity. In fact, I found this website by looking for help for my youngest son. I found out him, like his older brother was also an addict.
Lucky me, I found help for ME!
My first thought was what the heck did I do wrong, how can I fix it.
The answers to those questions took a long time to sink in, it was nothing I did, and there was nothing I could fix. (although I sure tried...LOL)
Something they say around these parts is the 3 C's:
You did CAUSE it.
You can't CONTROL it.
You can't CURE it.
It was nothing you did. Nothing.
Stick around,
keep posting,
Glad you found us....
Hugs,