welcome to S.R., so glad you found us.my son is an addict too.i use to blame myself & feel so guilty of his actions until i found this site & got into recovery.what helped me was the 3 c's...i did not CAUSE it,i can not Control it, & i can not CURE it. it is all theres to own.read all the stickys.learn to take care of you.there is nothing you can do for him.you are blessed to live in another state.please keep coming back. we r always here.i am saying a prayer for you & him & your husband.hugs,hope