Even though I have read some horror stories on these boards about what staying with an A could be like if they are not trying to quit, because I haven't experienced these scenarios, it is hard to feel angry that they could have potentially happened to me in this.
Don't feel angry, feel grateful that they didn't happen to you. And if you're not grateful yet, just keep reading until you "get it".
Boo, honey, you have been spared the pain of a relationship with an A, who has clearly indicated that he wants no relationship with you. It was a mistake, it has no future, and you have been spared the pain of ruining your life because of it.
All your work seems to be going into trying to make this relationship work, It is one-sided and it's over.
Take that same energy and use it to help yourself deal with the pain and move forward. Focus on YOU, Boo, and get the help you need to get over this.
Hugs
Ann